


in the architecture of the soul

by cosmic strings (electrick)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, angsty internalized emotions from steve, coffeeshop, mini series, pre ca:tws
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrick/pseuds/cosmic%20strings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of Steve Rogers finding himself within Captain America. Cap's got a place in the world, Steve's just trying to do the same. </p><p>Steve's life in DC as he fumbles his way through a series of mistakes (and dates).</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the architecture of the soul

The 21st century is a whirlwind of new adaptations for Steve. He’s gotten used to technology and all that nonsense but what has got Steve Rogers so mystified is the state of relationships here.

Maybe it’s because Steve didn’t really understand what a real romantic relationship was before he enlisted, but he doubts that starting now is the smartest decision, especially as Captain America.

He truly loves what he does, he really does. Not once does he regret enlisting, meeting Dr. Erskine, undergoing the treatment, any of these things. All Steve wants to do is help people, and with the mantle of Captain America, he’s doing just that.

But sometimes, he wonders what life would have been like if he hadn’t turned into a super soldier. More than anything, he just wants an escape back to his life before the treatment (he wishes he could have moments from his past back). It’s too difficult when his entire life is structured by SHIELD. His every movement, every moment is planned and tracked by them. As a soldier, he’s become accustomed to taking instructions but this isn’t what he signed up for.

Steve has a daily ritual. He wakes up every morning and goes running when he can. On his way back to the apartment, he stops by the corner cafe for coffee (and sometimes a pastry when he feels like it). He doesn’t need the coffee, but he likes the morning hustle of the small shop. It’s familiar to him, the same faces every morning in a habitual routine. Familiarity calms Steve and it gives him a sense of home in a world where he knows almost no one. It’s quite a change for him to feel so invisible in the crowd; it feels uneasy at first, but he moves past it. 

It’s a chilly November morning when Steve decides to go running outside. The sun still isn’t up but that’s his favorite time because there’s no traffic; the roads are fairly quiet and he loves the exhilaration that dusk entails. He loves to sit by the park, and watch the sunrise (he wishes everyday he could afford the time to paint all the colors). 

He’s on his way outside when he stares out the window and he sees the mess of hues around the sun. He decides then that he’s going to sketch today. It’s been quite a while since Steve has opened his sketch book, let alone drawn anything. 

The last sketch that Steve drew was of Peggy. He had been blindly drawing on an empty sheet when he realized that he was tracing Peggy’s features. 

He grabs his sketch book and his pencils before leaving for the cafe. It’s a bit earlier than his usual stop and he hopes it’s still open. He remembers the windows facing the east since the sun is almost always blinding inside the shop. 

The walk is brisk and he gets to the shop faster than he expected. It’s still fairly dark outside and the shades are drawn so he thinks that it’s closed. He spots a light on in the corner and he checks the handle and voila! The door opens toward him and he steps inside. The shop is empty except for the tired looking barista behind the counter and a small woman at a table underneath the light he spotted form outside. He smiles at the girl (she should be asleep right now, she looks far too young to be working at this hour) and asks for a black coffee with an extra shot of espresso. She doesn’t recognize him and he chalks it up to the hustle of the daily morning before he pays and sits at a table. 

Steve walks to an empty lounge chair and he settles in, dragging the side table closer to him. The other patron is in the corner, so he can see her from the corner of his eye. He spots a mess of dark hair with books and empty sheets on the table. 

He wonders what her story is before opening his pad to an empty page. He stares out the window and he sees an empty street. The sky is purple, melting into the orange dusk with clouds that resemble cotton balls everywhere. There’s a tall building in the landscape, with a clock in the tower and it brings Steve back to 1940s Brooklyn.

He traces lines on the paper, drawing the structure of the tower. They’re sharp, quick lines, segmenting together. It’s almost free form - he can’t take his eyes off the colors of the sky. Steve feels so at peace, it’s the same kind of peace he feels when he’s running and now he truly feels like he’s in the past.

The woman stands up from her corner and his trance is broken. She stumbles around as she steps away from her table. She’s bringing her mug back to the counter and he spies her dark curls sway as she moves. He bites his lip as he thinks about going up to her. Steve could use a friend.

He walks to the counter behind her and buys a pastry as his excuse. She doesn’t seem to know he’s there; she turns around with another cup of coffee and missteps in her place. He reaches out to steady her and she looks up at him (he’s quite tall compared to her).

“Thank you,” she says with a soft smile. 

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have scared you,” he smiles back at her. She smiles a bit, almost to herself and steps away from him. Steve picks up the pastry from the barista and follows her.

“Would you like to sit with me?” he asks her with a soft shrug of his obscenely large shoulders. She squints her eyes behind her glasses and looks over at her table.

“Hm, you can come sit with me,” she replies “there’s quite a lot to move from my table.”

Steve smiles in response and walks to his previous seat. He brings his pad along with his coffee back to her table.

“I’m Steve,” he introduces himself as he sits down across from her. Underneath the light, he can see the dark circles under her eyes. The table is an even bigger mess than he thought previously; there are so many pages with so much text and highlighted parts all over the table.

“Hi! I’m Sonia,” she offers her hand across the table, “sorry for the mess. I was just trying to get some work done.”

“This is work?” he asks, flipping through papers and seeing geometric shapes drawn in various colors. She nervously laughs with an edge of hysteria in her voice as she sets down her pens.

“Well, this is school work,” she says as she drops her hands on the table. Steve looks at her and she looks young, but not young enough to still be in school. It must show on his face because she further explains that she’s in graduate school, studying pharmacology. 

“That sounds exciting,” he says. He doesn’t really know what pharmacology is but it sounds similar to pharmacy and he puts two and two together.

“Most people don’t think it’s exciting. But I like it, you know?” she asks but he figures he’s not supposed to respond to that type of question.

“As long as you like it,” he answers with another shrug and a smile at the corner of his lips. There’s a strange smile on her face as she looks up, really looks to him. She nods vehemently, a bit too much because her glasses slide down her nose and Steve laughs at that. Her skin is tan so he doesn’t see the blush on her cheeks, but it’s there and Sonia knows. She mumbles something under her breath; Steve acts like he can’t make it out but he heard it all too clear (“good fucking job”). 

“What are you doing here so early?” she asks him with a pointed look to his notebook. It’s almost 6 in the morning and the sun isn’t even out yet. Most regular people are waking up at this time instead of hanging out in coffeeshops. 

“I needed a break,” he says after pausing. She looks at him strangely, probably wondering what exactly he needed a break from but if he doesn’t want to share, she’s not going to push it. “I actually wanted to draw,” he adds and in that moment, Sonia decides to never judge another person, no matter what. If a man who looks like that draws in his free time…

“What do you draw?” she asks while hoping that her look doesn’t betray her shock.

“Anything and everything I guess,” he answers as he flips through some pages. There are little sketches of monkeys, cars, buildings and she finally spots Peggy. There’s an old glamour to the drawing, her curls remind her of the old times with her sharp angles and lips. 

“She’s really pretty,” Sonia comments offhandedly as she sips her coffee. Steve glances down at the drawing and he smiles. Fury had given him information about Peggy if Steve ever wanted to meet her; it’s not surprising that she’s still alive. She has a family and kids, and Steve hopes with a heavy heart that in another lifetime that it could have been them together. 

“Yeah, she is,” he responds with a glassy look on his blue eyes. Sonia decides not to pry any further; she knows what that look means. She’s seen it on her sister’s face when she talks about her ex fiancé and that’s a rough conversation that Sonia wants to steer clear of. 

“Why are you up at this hour?” Steve asks, closing his book. He’s got to focus. He came here for a break, an escape and that isn’t going to happen if he’s going to daydream about the past.

“I was doing research late at night but I have a class in the morning. If I went back to my place, I was going to crash and sleep through it for sure,” she explains, tapping her foot on the ground. 

“That sounds stressful. How early is your class?” he asks, tearing a piece of his muffin. He knows what it’s like to not sleep for days but he doubts that he shares the reasons as Sonia.

“It’s at 8… so in almost 2 hours,” she nervously laughs as she twirls the pen in her hand. Steve smiles at her… he’s never been to college and he wonders about how much he’s missed in the past. Steve’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he picks it out, sliding his finger across the screen. Fury’s called him in for a mission debriefing (except it’s via text and not actually a phone call). 

“I have to go,” Steve mutters as he looks down at his phone. He stands up, collecting his book in one hand, “sorry, it’s work.” 

Steve apologizes with a small smile, with one corner turned down. He holds his plate as he places the book underneath his arm. He turns around when he hears Sonia’s voice.

“Aren’t you going to ask for my number?” she asks with a sly smile at the corner of her lips. Steve is unsure what to think of this. 

“Unless that’s not what you were going for, which is also fine,” she replies in a cool manner. She’s sitting against the chair, legs crossed as she leans back. She looks at him with a smirk. 

Steve realizes that he has genuinely enjoyed his (albeit short) time with Sonia . She’s a real breath of fresh air; it’s nice for Steve to have something in his life other than SHIELD and the uniform. He would love to see her again and get away from it all. 

“No, that sounds like a plan,” he answers as he slides his phone to her. She picks it up and and taps at the screen. She hands it back to him at which he smiles at her.

“Well, it was very nice to meet you Sonia,” he says. She nods her head and bites her lip in a smile.

“You too, Steve,” she replies, waving him a good bye from her chair. 

Steve walks out of the coffeeshop with a more optimistic start of his regular day. The sun is out, and it’s shining brightly on him; it feels warm compared to the cold chilly breeze but he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
